View Single Post
Old 04-10-2018, 05:01 AM   #119
shostakobitch's Avatar
Join Date: 05 November 2009
Location: new york
Age: 27
Send a message via AIM to shostakobitch
i am trying to approach muse differently as i generally worship matt in ways i never thought i would and i am realizing it is probably not the healthiest way to go through life. i think the internet made me feel more important and influential than i actually am, which distorted my overall attitude towards the band. i realize that in the universe of muse fans and audience members, the band does not know me nor will i ever know them. my wishes and wants and needs don’t matter. i cannot become consumed with what i want. the music was not written for me. the sets will never be for me. a tv appearance is not for me. it’s for something bigger. i have become selfishly obsessive to a point where i have become ashamed with how i have thought i deserve something from multi-millionaire musicians who will never know me in any capacity. i think that i have been thrown back to earth i can approach muse like i did when i was a young girl. it was easier when i felt a sense of detachment and slipped up on last names. it was easier to enjoy everything when i didn’t feel the music as personally as i do. it was easier when matt bellamy was the cool sparkle guitar man and not someone i desperately wished could be my friend. the connectivity of this new frontier is both a blessing and a curse. i have gone too deep and have lost myself in the waves. i need to accept that i will never know matt or ever speak with him. i will analyze each release from a more objective position despite the common argument that music is subjective. subjectivity has left the music far too entrenched within my soul. i need to separate myself. i need to accept that my ego is subordinate and i must respect the egos of the stars.
New York, NY | MSG | 2010 * Los Angeles, CA | LA Coliseum | 2011 * Uncasville, CT | Mohegan Sun | 2013 * New York, NY | MSG | 2013 * New York, NY | MSG | 2013 * New York, NY | Webster Hall (RIP) | 2015 * Brooklyn, NY | Barclays Center | 2016 * Wantagh, NY | Jones Beach | 2017 * New York, NY | Central Park Summerstage | 2017 * Morrison, CO | Red Rocks | 2017 *Charlotte, NC | Redneck City | 2018 *

Last edited by shostakobitch; 04-10-2018 at 05:04 AM.
shostakobitch is offline   Reply With Quote