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KesMuse KesMuse is offline

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  1. hey
    28-06-2010 09:59 PM
    hey
    I talked to my sister about it... She thinks that I'm "all better now", but I'm not...
    I'll try to stay out of trouble, and I'm really going to try and stop cutting... I really am...

    I cut before he told me too...
    I really will try, I promise, but It will take me a while to get over this one... I know it will. thank you so much for all your support, you have no clue how nice it is to be able to talk to people
  2. hey
    28-06-2010 07:41 PM
    hey
    Everything was going so well, and now I'm worse than I was before, I just want to run away and kill myself, I'm really considering it... I just want to get it over and done with. I don't want to get better, then I'll always remember and start to suffer all over again, I'm really really considering it, I just want to GO!
  3. hey
    28-06-2010 07:09 PM
    hey
    I like Mozart! Especially Chopin, but I just want to play that and Muse! No shit like exams!

    I'm so going to use them rather than pads! + pads always look really manky, and make people look like they have a donkey dick!
  4. hey
    28-06-2010 06:58 PM
    hey
    ooh, then it's 'the pill' I always forget the difference!

    poor nan! Sounds terrible!

    You should ask for a new skirt! say "it's summer, and I need a new wardrobe!" should get you some stuff

    I hope that your head stops aching!

    My au-pair bought this magazine called "Muse" it's a whole magazine on muse, she'll give it to me if I practice every day of the week until friday on the piano for 20 mins... I CAN'T WAIT! it's so awesome!

    I'll remember that, but isn't it painful? Tampons don't exactly sound "comfy"
  5. hey
    28-06-2010 04:55 PM
    hey
    here are some good websites about schizophrenia:
    http://www.nhs.uk/pathways/schizophr.../symptoms.aspx
    and http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandsty...renia-symptoms

    also, aparently, you feel like someone is controlling what you do and think! just like mee! I feel not so alone anymore!

    She's 15 (she's been bulimic and she used to self harm, she now has therapy)

    I'm not on my period yet thank god! Last night I had a dream that I did, and well, it was HORRIBLE, I was wearing this white dress, and then, SHIT! I was on the street and it was really scary!

    My sister is on "morning after" pills, because apparently it stops you getting your period! I'm so going to try that when I'm old enough!

    She should just as him out! it's not that scary asking a boy out! Tell her that it won't go wrong, it pretty much can't! Plus, she can always say that it was a dare if it does!

    I pretty much never get head aches! I just find that my head only hurts if I "open" it, I do a mental opening thing where I can kind of communicate with animals if I do, but I can't close it, and it really makes my head hurt D:


    I'm sure that you're a great guitarist and singer! If you got that much attention after HoTRS, I'm sure that you're epic! (plus, bass isn't actually that hard !)

    I'm the same as I was before at least I got a new skirt though
  6. hey
    28-06-2010 04:19 PM
    hey
    I feel like that when he's with me, I'm not alone, because my last depression was a lot about being alone, this one is aswell, but it's a bit nice having someone there, even if they are a maniac... He also makes me feel things, when I'm in one of my "emotionless" moods...

    I think I'm going to tell my sister tonight...

    I was told by some people that I probably have it, and also, I read a lot about it and I have most of the symptoms :')

    How are you?
  7. hey
    27-06-2010 10:56 PM
    hey
    I have schizophrenia...
  8. hey
    27-06-2010 09:17 PM
    hey
    The police are checking any CCTV which might help... I doubt that it will help though, there are no CCTV camera's near my house

    Hate can be very attractive, It's a very deep feeling, and people who don't get many deep feelings are attracted to what they don't normally have.

    I'm going to get a counsellor at my new school thank god!

    I know what you mean about SS, It's like I can almost tell him everything...

    being sheltered isn't good read about how the world sucks, that will help you become stronger :')

    he is like a dark omen, I can always feel him behind my head... I have a anklet that stops him from getting stronger... But it doesn't always work, and I can feel him coming now...
    He has a dark sense of humour and seems to laugh at my pain, he sometimes smiles, even though his face is in a permanent scream... Imagine having a light rucksack on your back... thats what he's like... Always there, on my back... But he causes you pain and anxiety throughout the day O.o He's really really really hard to explain. He is so evil... But I have SS
  9. hey
    27-06-2010 08:16 PM
    hey
    The fire was caused by a man with an open fire in the bush, there was a fire the night before it burnt down my hotel, it burnt up all the grounds in front of my hotel, they put it out, then it came back and destroyed the hotel.

    I can't just stay still, do you know how scary it is knowing that the most evil person in the world is under your bed?! Imagine having a terrorist under your bed, then you might be halfway to how scary it is! (Sorry if that sounded rude, I really do appreciate your help :') )

    He doesn't tell me why I can't cut my left hip, so, trying to see what would happen if I disobeyed him, while he wasn't in control of me fully, I cut my left hip. Later today, I saw a 16 year old girl getting physically abused and pulled into a car by a man and a woman, they drove away, there was nothing I could do except tell the police. The man and woman are still out there, on my road, somewhere...

    His mercy gives me a bit of Stockholm Syndrome, but then when he gives me no mercy, I despise him.

    I can only tell one person at school, I'll tell her tomorrow, she needs to know. She's dyslexic, but she's the most mature person I know who's my age. I tell her everything, she never mocks me, she's so sweet!

    I know I should hate him, but he is merciful! Sometimes, I almost feel like I can tell him stuff, but then I realise that he feeds on my pain, so that It's not best to make him stronger, or mentally attached to him.

    I mostly listen to DCFC when I think of him, It's perfect, especially Title And Registration, Muse isn't the kind of stuff I listen to then

    I wonder how you would react in my situation, probably better than I do!

    Thank you so much for being so kind to me Kes
  10. treee
    27-06-2010 06:57 PM
    treee

    i can't even play the normal one properly
    glasto was amazzzing - with a triple z
    when matt dies (hopefully he's immortal and that never happens) i'm going to cut off his hands and replace them with mine, and then maybe i will be a good guitarist

About Me

  • About KesMuse
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    South London, UK
    Interests
    Music...
    Books...
    MUSE!!!
    Occupation
    To sit and do homework?
    Biography
    Musician, part-time teen.
    Favourite Bands
    Muse, Placebo, Biffy Clyro, Paramore, Nirvana, Queen, Manic Street Preachers, U2
    Muse Releases Owned
    Resistance
    Black Holes & Revelations
    Absolution
    Origin of Symmetry
    Hullabaloo
    H.A.A.R.P. CD/DVD
    Showbiz
    Muse Concerts Attended / Attending
    Teignmouth home-coming gig, Sept 2009
    Wembley Stadium, Sept 2010
    O2 Arena, Oct 2012
  • Signature

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  • Last Activity: 31-12-2013 08:43 PM
  • Join Date: 29-12-2008

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